Sunday 27 September

My poor baby has unfortunately contracted the dreaded man flu on the second day of our holiday. He is cursing the woman who sat next to him on the plane who appeared to be unaware of the government warning regarding covering your mouth whilst coughing to prevent the spreading of Swine Flu. What a sexy word, we are in Milan and I said Swin Flu. I don’t want to be reminded of depressing media coverage back home. I want fantasy and escapism so we hand shook on visiting Lake Como for a lazy day of taking in the scenery and people watching.

Styled coca cola Part of the 'Milan Loves Fashion' Street Exhbition

  Besides the shops are shut on Sundays in Italy as it’s a religious day so I wore white linen mid length skirt and a brown vest top for modesty as the Italian appear to regard religion highly in their society.  I don’t want a repeat of performance yesterdays Boobylicious shunning outside the cathedral where I was asked to cover up. Yikes. The surprising observation about Milan so far is that they don’t sell bottled drinks in news outlets or spread them accessibly across retail hospitality outlets. When you do stumble across a watering hole you pay at least £6.00 for bottled water and you must ensure you have extra change. Not for tips but to be prepared for when you need to go to the little girl’s room and pay .50 Euros for a pee! Excuse my Italian.

  Half an hour into our train journey the horizon was eclipsed by jaw dropping mountains views as for as far as the eye can see. Despite seeing tourist pictures online of our destination nothing can prepare you for the real thing as the scenic beauty is a truly awe inspiring moment. It’s obvious why Como is a hideaway and millionaire’s playground as the area is littered with expensive bars and restaurants, luxurious mansions and priceless out of this world natural beauty. Hollywood golden boy George Clooney has residence here and the location has been used to film James Bond scenes and no doubt plentiful fashion shoots. Fittingly the image of the lake in front of us looks straight out of a block buster movie as a brightly coloured speed boats zip across water reaching insanely high speeds and a helicopter chops above them roaring through the sky, tail backing their every move.

    The tourist information assistant advises us that the lake is closed today for recreational usage as they are holding an international speed boat racing competition.  My other half suggested we could catch a tram to the top of one of the mountains which sounds adventurous but when I look up at the steep height of the mountain face and the vertical angle that the trams appear too dangled dangerously along the tram track to the peak I feel dizzy and turn green!

Instead we walked across the edge of the lake and past what must seem like to locals the Berlin wall a controversial wooden wall plastered with objections to it permanent construction. We settled by the river edge for a front row view of the race and I pondered on how this is ‘The Most Romantic’ setting I have ever been in with my boyfriend. It’s a scorching hot day and he has blokey action to watch all day with this exciting international boat race which was vastly gaining momentum with spectators lining up for the best view. Never being one for sport I opted to be a spectator in the trend spotting game.

We are the champions

   Even the teenagers in Milan do not dress scruffy or funky instead they are quite boring really. You get the odd one with the whole American skate boarder and hip hop look but on the whole they look non rebellious and boringly conformist like middle aged conservatives. Not like the British tribes of teenagers who express themselves through music subcultures like Goths, Clubbers and Brit Pop muso’s.  What they do have in common with our own adolescents is their insistence on unleashing their highly charged hormones in public parks by overtly engaging in public displays of affection. Eeek! In fact it feels like the whole of Milan is madly in love as everywhere I turn there are couples holding hands, courting lingering looks and kissing slowly. They don’t seem to be as squeamish as us Brits about romance; it’s not surprising really as some of the most beautiful people in the world live here in Milan. Any British bloke who bags himself a woman here would be shouting it from the roof tops, proudly holding a pint in one hand and pinching her bum with the other. Barbarically necking her face off each time he detects any Italian stallion competition trying to mimic an old school Hollywood kiss, but failing miserably.

  All the woman sport classic Louis Vuitton bags well cut fitted white or indigo jeans, designer sunglasses and teeny tiny toy dogs. Pooches are huge here with the older woman walking Poodles whilst the young woman sashaying with their Cheryl Cole style dogs like as if they’re prancing in pedigree dog shows.  

When we get back the hotel we catch a repeat of the Milano Loves Fashion and Stylista. Like I said earlier Milan lives, eats and sleeps fashion. Tonight I will be dreaming about my next career break in the industry. Good night.